captivate.

I'm back.  And significantly less whiny than the last time I was here.  I'm just gonna go ahead and say it: Wednesday....was not a good day.  But things have improved significantly since then.  Every day is a lesson in patience, and some days that lesson is harder than others.  But I'm learning and growing every day.

Last night Christie and I went on a midnight In & Out run, which I haven't done since sophomore year.  But all the way through Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice we both had cheeseburger cravings that were just too strong to ignore, so once the shows were over, we gave in.  On the way we were reminiscing about high school an church youth group, and I told Christie about a youth Sunday service at my church in which I sang a couple of songs for a girl to dance to.  Of course, the humorous part of the story is that because of the space logistics, the band was stuck on side stage where no one could see us...I remember having to climb up on top of an old set for some other production and stand back against the wall while I sang.  It was actually hilarious.  Anyways, when we got home from our cheeseburger run, I started listening to one of those songs that I sang: "My Heart, Your Home" by the band Watermark.  As I was just going about my routine, getting ready for bed, however, the next song on the CD came on, and it stopped me in my tracks... 

"...Captivate us, Lord Jesus

Set our eyes on You

Devastate us with Your presence

Falling down

And rushing river, draw us nearer

Holy fountain consume us with You

Captivate us Lord Jesus, with You..."

I think I need to be devastated with the Lord's presence.  To be fully and 100% captivated by Him.  Even in the midst of all this growing and learning and all the challenges that have been coming my way lately, I'm still more often than not ignoring the One who is guiding me through this time.  But I don't want to anymore.  I want to be devastated by His presence.

Anyway, it's something to think about.

Now I'm going to embark upon this day.  And instead of viewing it as hours of uncertainty, mocking me with the fact that I have no plans, no responsibilities, and (still) no job, I'm going to view this day as a wide open opportunity for adventures that the Lord will surely send my way.

May God bless us all, and devastate us all with His presence, today and always.

(PS - that song is "Captivate Us" by Watermark.  Just fyi...)