a beautiful, scandalous good friday

I've been thinking about what this day - the day they killed Jesus - must have been like all those many years ago. I can't seem to get past the heartbreak of the faithful who were witnessing all of it. I know the feeling of intense disappointment and disillusionment and just gut-wrenching sorrow. But I am certain that nothing I've ever felt comes even remotely close to what Jesus' followers were feeling that day. Can you imagine it? The man who you believed (with all your heart) was supposed to be your savior...dies. He dies. Can you imagine the heartache? Can you imagine the sorrow? Can you imagine the disbelief?

See...we know the ending. So even when we try really hard to burrow down into the sorrow and to feel the pain of Good Friday, there's still a light at the end of the tunnel. We know the celebration that's coming. We know that in only a few short days, eternal victory will be gained. But on that day, they didn't know the end. They thought it was the end. He was dead. He was gone. And their hearts were broken.

And then...He came back. He won. He finished the battle forever.

I am so thankful that after that intense heartache, there comes the most incredible joy imaginable. I am so thankful for this beautiful, scandalous story that has saved my life.

I can't fully wrap my mind around the sacrifice that was made for me or the countless ways in which I have been saved. I can't comprehend the simultaneous simplicity and complexity of the plan that was executed that has saved me. But I'm unbelievably grateful for it. And I will forever stand in awe (with arms high and heart abandoned) of the One who gave it all.

Go on up to the mountain of mercy
To the crimson perpetual tide
Kneel down on the shore
Be thirsty no more
Go under and be purified
Follow Christ to the holy mountain
Sinner sorry and wrecked by the fall
Cleanse your heart and your soul
In the fountain that flows
For you and for me and for all

At the wonderful, tragic, mysterious tree
On that beautiful, scandalous night you and me
Were atoned by His blood and forever washed white
On that beautiful, scandalous night

On the hillside, you will be delivered
At the foot of the cross justified
And your spirit restored
By the river that pours
From our blessed Savior's side

Amen.

good life.

Here's another song I've been listening to lately. It's pretty much just a constant cycle of this one, the one from yesterday, and the one I'll post tomorrow. They're all just so good.

The sky is grey and it's chilly outside and I'm about to go for a walk with my lovely mom. This really is the good life.

cosmic love.

I've been listening to this on repeat for days now.

I can't get over it.

I don't want to get over it.

(Today wasn't the best. But tomorrow brings the promise of a day off, a walk with my mom, some sun, and some rain.

Life goes on.

I go on.)

Friday randomness

This morning was a gorgeous, hazy, golden dawn. It made me wish that Mr. Darcy would come walking across the parking lot to me (holding my grande iced non-fat Chai so I wouldn't have to go get it myself, of course) and tell me that I had bewitched him, body and soul. No luck, though - I had to go to Starbucks myself and I don't think anyone is feeling bewitched by me. But, at least the drive to work was beautiful. And it's Friday!

I played in a faculty basketball game yesterday, representing my Chargers. We dominated. I have a big bruise on my arm, a floor burn on my knee, and a fingernail gouge out of my right hand. I love it. It's just like the days of old. And one of my players came up to me after the game and said, "Quinlan! You're like...really good! You're a true baller!" It was gratifying and it reminded me of how much I miss playing that sport every day.

One year ago today I was in Paris, headed to Interlaken, Switzerland (my favorite place in the world).

Tonight, the roommate and I are going to see Jane Eyre. It's one of my favorite books, so I have high expectations for this movie. Mr. Rochester...please don't disappoint me.

They put in a new Yogurtland copy near my school...I was skeptical. But then I went...and it was glorious. NuYo - thank you for rescuing my yogurtland-less existence.

This is incredibly random. And now I'm off to science class in which I will zone out and dream of the beautiful, hazy morning and Mr. Darcy. And possibly Mr. Rochester.

Happy Friday!

summer...I think I'm ready for you.

While I certainly love this:

(this was a self-portrait...I'm fairly certain it was -2 when I took this walk. NBD.)

I think I'm about ready for more of this:

("this" would be hanging out with my good friend Stacy in the warm and sun and sunglasses.)

Summer ball starts soon. I don't have to wear my down jacket every time I go outside anymore. It's been over a week since I scraped ice off of my windshield. Summer is quickly approaching, and I'm glad. I love the seasons in Colorado - every time I'm about to get sick of one, a new one shows up.

The job search process has to be one of my least favorite things ever. So much work with so little reward. And talk about kicking you when you're down. You're already unemployed (hit one) and then you send out endless numbers of applications and resumes only to hear back from about .1% of them. And then the right one comes along and it's all fine again, but until that happens, the endless string of rejections and uncertainty that accompanies them is not pleasant.

One year ago today I was in Europe, about to be financially dominated by a volcano.

Happy April.