painting.

...And this heartbreak world

Of just imagine

With it's tired talk of better days

And this heartbreak world

Where nothing matters

Come on lets make this dream

that's barely half awake come true...

~ Matt Nathanson, "Heartbreak World"

I've been thinking about dreams.  I think Matt is on to something, talking about a world focused on "tired talk of better days" and "barely half awake" dreams.  I don't want to live my life with dreams barely half awake.  I want dreams alive and vibrant.  

I want to be alive and vibrant.

I have a very real fear of living my life in a state of complacency.  It is so easy to let myself dwell in loneliness, in settling, in just good enough.  It's easy to convince myself that everyone feels the same, so this must be the best it can be.  However, I know those are blatant lies that I am telling to myself.  I have been given life and life abundantly.  I have a life, a blank slate, ready to be painted.  There can be brilliant colors of joy and triumph and completely happy moments.  There can be the deep, dark tones of heartache and sorrow.  There can be the pastels of peaceful moments and the muted tones of moments that were not quite enough.  My life is ready to be made beautiful.  So why am I sitting back expecting someone else to paint it for me?

Life is for living.  It isn't about painting perfect lines.  It's about getting my hands dirty and covering the canvas with the colors of every beautiful day I've been given.