harold.

a couple of weeks ago my grandpa died.

he was a wonderful man. compassionate, faithful, funny. i truly loved him, and i know that he loved me, too.

however, the grandpa i knew and loved had been gone for a long time. alzheimer's. over the past few years he had rapidly slid down a path of confusion and frustration, quickly losing the ability to recognize those he loved. and it was tragic. no words can capture the pain of having your grandfather, the man you know absolutely adores you, no longer know who you are or what your name is. however, the pain that i felt quickly transitioned from sorrow for myself to sorrow for my father. as my grandpa got worse, he stopped being able to recognize my dad. and despite faithfully taking care of him, visiting him, taking him out to lunch, i know it was hard on my dad. and that was heart-breaking to me.

but now, i find great joy in the fact that harold (or 'old hal'; as we often affectionately called him) is livin' it up in heaven. my mom and i like to think that he and all of his relatives that went before him are having a potluck right now. because that's what the quinlan family does - potlucks and home-made gift exchanges.

i will never forget the day my grandma died, the summer before my freshman year of high school. we were all at the hospital, and there was a nurse in there with us, trying to be comforting. she said something to my grandpa about hope for seeing his wife in the future. and his response has always stuck with me. "its not hope," he said, "its knowledge. i know i will see my wife again someday."

and now he has.

so now, it is with great joy that i think about my dear grandpa, finally happy and remembering all those he loves in the presence of his dear savior.