goodbye, March.

So...I kind of abandoned the whole "blog challenge" thing there at the end. In the interest of full disclosure, I have to tell you that I kind of intended to all along. I knew that there was no way I was actually going to write every day while I was in Santa Barbara, and since I failed to start the challenge more than 30 days before I left....well, we'll just call it a 26 day challenge instead.

My time in Santa Barbara was basically perfection. Perfect weather, wonderful friends, and a fleeting escape from the somewhat scary reality of life right now. (I did my taxes before I left...my annual income was pitiful. And now I have no job. Good.) Anyways...I feel just beyond blessed to have two homes that I love so much and such incredible people in my life.

So...now it's back to the grind. Work all day, search for new jobs all evening. But I am very confident in the Lord. I am certain that the plan He has for me is what's best for me. It's been a long and winding road to get to where I am, and I really wouldn't change a step of it (except for maybe my three week stint at Dazbog...not really sure what the point of that was...). I am sure that the road I'm on, though it will continue to wind, will lead me to exactly the right place.

day twenty-six: vacation!

I'm sitting in my friend Juliann's gorgeous kitchen, looking out the window at the sea and the grey sky and the channel islands in the distance. It's wet and chilly in Santa Barbara, but my heart is warm.

The next five days are full of plans (mostly revolving around food) and friends and hopefully rest. And while in the back of my mind there is a chorus of "what next? where next? no job no job no job"....I am calm and grateful and happy.

So now I am off to enjoy the rest of this vacation. Hopefully Santa Barbara will feel compelled to throw a little sunshine my way, but if not, I'll still be satisfied. Because I have been blessed without measure.

Sometimes, life is so wonderful.

(I'll be back to finish my blog challenge and delight you with stories of my Santa Barbaran adventures in a few days...never fear.)

day 25 - sometimes life sucks.

i haven't felt like writing.

i think it's legitimate.

big life changes (like getting laid off) tend to send me reeling.

but i will survive to write again.

(for the record, i do have a job for the rest of the school year. but after that, thanks to budget cuts, it's back to the drawing board. i'm really sick of job hunting.)

Day twenty-four: a letter to the best people in the world.

Dear Parents,

Thank you. Thanks for creating me and for raising me and for putting up with my snotty teenage years and for supporting my decision to go to college out of state and for letting me move back into your house after graduation from said college and for becoming my best friends.

I know of so many people who have simply mediocre relationships with their parents. They don't have people supporting them every step of the way like I do. They don't have people gently pushing them to be the best possible version of themselves like I do. They don't have people who they genuinely enjoy spending their time with like I do.

The best compliments I have ever received are when people tell me that I remind them of you guys. What an incredible honor! Because you are the two most amazing people I know. I look up to you in every way, and you are everything that I strive to be. You know that one episode of Friends when Rachel is teaching Joey how to sail? And she screams at him and then realizes she's her father? She says, "Oh my God! I did not see this coming! I've been spending so much time trying not to be my mother." It's a funny moment and all, but I am beyond thankful that I have never felt that way. No...I'd be saying, "Oh my God! Thank you for letting me become my mother and my father!" Because you guys are everything that is good about me.

I can't even begin to count the things that you've taught me. It would take more time than I have, that's for sure. And I definitely couldn't count the many things that I've learned just by watching you navigate your own lives - how to be a person of honesty and integrity, how to approach everything in my life with 100% of my effort and dedication, how to love other people, and how to live as a Godly woman, to name just a few. You are pillars of consistency in my life, and if I end up being even half as wonderful of a parent as you have been to me, my kids will be the luckiest in the world.

I love you guys so much, and I am so grateful for every single moment that I get to spend with you. Thank you for being, quite literally, the best parents in the world.

With all my love...

Your daughter,

Kelsey Quinlan

Day twenty-three: celebrations.

Day 23 - Something you crave a lot:

If we're talking food? Cheese. And tortilla chips. And occasionally Swedish Fish.

If we're talking life? Companionship. Sunshine. Time to sit and read. Laughter. Feeling the blessed assurance that Jesus is mine.

I think that about covers it. When you get to the bottom of it, life is pretty simple, isn't it?

Tomorrow is another Monday - the beginning of another week. But this week is the last week until spring break, which is exciting on a multitude of levels, not the least of which is my desperate need for a break. Today was my basketball banquet - yet another reminder of how blessed I have been. What a great opportunity to celebrate these wonderful young women - the unique and beautiful creations that they are. We laughed, some of us (me) cried, and we rejoiced in the bright future these girls have before them. I find myself, once again, thanking God for them.

And now? Now is off to read and then to sleep and to live another day in this lovely life that I've been gifted.

Sleep well, my friends.

days twenty and twenty-two: some thoughts.

I've gone on and on about practicing discipline and here I am - at my first real slip up in this blog challenge. I wish I had a good excuse for not writing on days 20 and 22, but the reality is that I just didn't write.

Instead of writing about the prompts for those days (one of which asks about relationships, which is a road I just don't even want to go down right now), I have some thoughts.

I've had a lot on my mind lately. There are times in my life when I feel so aware of all the heartache and sorrow and imperfection in the world, and this is one of those times. My heart breaks for the people of Japan every day when I read the news and it's just one tragedy after another for them. And we can't forget about New Zealand and the horrible earthquake in Christchurch last month. And then there's the unrest in Libya. And there's just so much wrong in the world. It makes my very small life feel just that...very small.

But here's the thing - my small life...it's still mine. And as I sit here on my couch at 7:00 on a Sunday morning, wrapped in my big quilt, listening to this and watching the sunrise light paint the mountains through my window, I'm thankful for this life. (Confession...that wasn't what I originally intended to write...but it's true. I have problems and worries and concerns, but I'm thankful just the same.)

I read this in my devotional the other day, and it has been constantly with me since then: "I refuse to worry, but instead choose to rest in the finished work of Christ." It occured to me that I can refuse to worry. I don't have to give in to that feeling of near panic and anxiety about my future. When worries come into my mind, I can say, "No! I refuse to acknowledge you. I'm choosing to rest in the fact that Christ already has my plan figured out. I refuse to worry." What freedom! What a cause for celebration!

The prompt for day twenty-two asks, "what makes you different from everyone else?" And here's the thing - I'm not different from everyone else, really. I'm just another person. But what makes me unique (what makes us all unique) is the Father who knows our names, knows our hearts, and knows every single hair on our head. That's better to me than any other distinguishing feature. What makes me different from everyone else? I'm different because my Savior created me (and loves me) that way.

day twenty-one.

Day 21 - a picture of something that makes you happy:

I'm tired. Dealing with high schoolers is hard work sometimes.

Promise for a better one tomorrow.