preschoolers.....

I'm sitting at the kitchen table with the sounds of the sprinklers running outside and the attic fan running inside. It's quiet and peaceful and I am glad.

I'm not sure I'm cut out to be a preschool teacher. Don't get me wrong - the newest job is a BIG step up from the last couple I have had (with the exception of working for you, Michele - that was the best job ever!) I feel like this is a job I can do for a while - at least a year - without wanting to die at the end of every day. However, I also have had a headache for two weeks straight. I'm hoping it will go away, but the evidence gathered by two weeks of work is saying that it won't, so I had better either get used to the headache or gear myself up for an Advil addiction. (Simply put: preschoolers are loud. And kind of annoying.)

I had an epiphany the other day, while I was struggling to get Ellie, my super-sweet but super-spastic lab, to stay on her dog bed in the corner of the room. No matter how many different ways I tried, she still snuck off the bed and ended up in the middle of the room, getting her dirty black hair all over the clean off-white carpet. The epiphany came about as I was saying for the umpteenth time, "Ellie, get. on. your. mat. Stay there. ELLIE! Sit. Stay!" whilst snapping - it was exactly the same thing I say at work. Literally. During nap time, this is me: "get on your mat. Lay down. Stay there. STAY ON YOUR MAT!" The epiphany is - preschoolers = animals. And I'm not sure I'm cut out for taking care of animals all day long.

The good news, however, is that each day is getting better. I'm getting into the swing of things, and while I'm fairly certain that this is a job I will never love, it is one that I can easily tolerate, and even enjoy at moments. I just know that, starting right now, I need to be praying for patience (and would appreciate others' prayers for patience, as well), because if I don't find some more of it somewhere (anywhere!) the next year of my life is going to be a long one, filled with lots of scolding and finger-snapping.

So...in conclusion - not my dream job. But one that doesn't make me want to curl up in a little ball in the corner of my room and cry every night. So....a step in the right direction!

And, in case you missed it before (because I know I miss it all the time...) God is good. He is faithful and merciful and just so good.

Amen.

summer!

the sound of a lawn mower...windows open at night...sunscreen every morning...the smell of grass and afternoon rain...

...it's summer.

happy.

my new job(s).

So...the last three weeks or so have been a little crazy.

Reader's Digest version: Got job at coffee shop. Hated job at coffee shop. Meltdown. Action plan. Got new job at preschool. Quit job at coffee shop. Happiness.

Extended version: I finally got a job at a coffee shop called Dazbog Coffee (a Russian-founded, Colorado-based chain who are feebly attempting to compete with Starbucks). Basically minimum wage, 35 minute drive from my house (which is even worse when you have to be at work at 5:30 am), and crazy foreign bosses (I have a knack for finding those, apparently...) were all factors that contributed to the quick realization that this job was perhaps the last thing I wanted to spend my time doing. After a week, I couldn't do it anymore, thus: meltdown followed by action plan. However, my action plan didn't actually have time to take place because the next day my mom drove by a preschool that was hiring, grabbed me an application, and 20 minutes later I was hired as a preschool teacher. The following day I put in my two weeks notice at Dazbog, and I am currently finishing out my last two weeks as a Barista for the Lazy Hills Dazbog Coffee. I start as a preschool teacher at Jordan Alexander's Preschool on June 7th.

Here's the thing: God is good. All the time, God is good. Not only do I have a full time job, but I have a full time job that I could potentially really love. God is good.

Amen.

new Greg goodness!

Greg Laswell.....why are you so amazing?!

Take a Bow is all I will be listening to for the next couple of months. The man speaks straight to my soul.

so. freaking. good.

trust.

trust -

is a lesson that i've been learning (in varying degrees of intensity) every day of my short 23 years.

sometimes it comes easily. but most of the time it doesn't. and after a short period of rest -

here i am again.

needing to trust. that there is a plan for my life. a plan to build me up, not break me down. that i am not walking alone through life. that the One who has brought me safely thus far will continue to guide my steps.

trust.

welcome home.

This is my formal apology to you (the three or four of you who read these thoughts if mine) for my very extended absence. My quietness as of late is a direct reflection on my unwillingness to pay exhorbant fees for the usage of Internet. (Yes, Mom, I am aware of the many economic lessons present there. I'm simply choosing not to get into them right now.).

I have spent the past three weeks in Europe - London, Paris, Interlaken (Switzerland), Salzburg, and Vienna. It probably goes without saying that it has been an amazing three weeks. But it has also been an exhausting, trying, and revealing three weeks. I feel like I needed this trip. I needed to go out on my own (with a friend, of course!) and travel. I would say that I needed to get it out of my system, but that doesn't convey the quite right idea. I needed to see just a little bit more of the world, have just one more youthful adventure before I settle down into real life. And now that I have...I think I'm ready. I think I am ready to stay put, to get a job, to live in one place for more than a year. Simply put, I'm ready to start building a life for myself.

My trip was an incredible experience - we saw and did so many things. I will post some pictures and stories soon, but for now I content just to be home. The memories of the past three weeks will be with me forever, but my life is here and I am so grateful for that.

a prayer.

may the Lord bless us and keep us...may He make His face shine upon us and be gracious unto us...may He lift up His countenance upon us and give us peace.

now and forever.

amen.